Chasing Rainbows; Spinning Dreams. ♥

31 December 2019 @ 01:34 pm

I told myself that I will stop these things that make me go crazy. I want to hit my head so hard that it will bleed and make me realize that some things are not meant to be but every time, every minute, every single moment that you're near me, I just can't help it. I can't stop it. All my efforts just go to waste.

***

BE MY FRIEND? NO SWEAT :DD
i don't choose FRIENDS who want to add me; really. Feel Free to do so :] I don't reject that much, coz' I want to meet you all :) But I hope you could comment on this post so that we'd get to know each other, `kay? Find my introductions @ my PROFILE PAGE on the top of this post if you want to know me better. Thank You.

***

Ohh, I'm a FIC WRITER, Yes that's me.
So here's my FIC LIST:

( CLICK HERE FOR THE MASTER LIST. )

SO YEAH. I've finished updating. And I'm too tired to type now xD LOL. So, wait for more fics.
Please DO COMMENT, so that I know if you liked it or not, if it's crappy or good, if I've improved or not, if too angsty or so on. Again, ALL OF THIS ARE FANFICTIONS MADE BY ME :DD If fiction is not your cup of tea, DON'T READ.

***

The rain pours and I know that we were never really that close.
You had your own sky and I have mine.
You have a life that can never cross with mine.

BTW, FORGOT WHOM TO CREDIT THE BANNER. PM ME IF YOU MADE IT SO I COULD CREDIT YOU PROPERLY. THANKS, BB <3

I HAVE ACCOUNTS @ FRIENDSTER, PLURK, TWITTER, MULTIPLY, FACEBOOK AND YAHOO MESSENGER. PM me if you want to add me; I'm sure to give you my email adds and usernames personally. :) And, DON'T BE SO BITTER IF I HAVE MULTIPLE ACCOUNTS. I don't fucking care if you don't have these; STOP SAYING SHIT AT THESE SITES. I love these sites for who the hell you care.

Current Mood:

bitchy

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14 November 2009 @ 03:37 pm

writer's block.

due to my insistent, consistent and numerous breakdowns at hell, I finally presented a confession to every single alien that's reading this.

I.. I SORTA HAVE A... A... *~~gets violent, then screams~~,*
WRITER'S BLOCK. X_______________X

this disease is very threatening. I need some friggin' cure :((
It could cause the many deaths of my readers, especially the fiction lurkers who are very much in favor of me. *BASHES*
I NEED RESOURCES. INSPIRATION. MUSIC. EVIDENCES.
Anything that would make me brain function again from writing madness.
In other words, I LACK FROM MADNESS AND CHAOS. >:|

so sorry for being so useless right now. I am really trying to write as much as possible, yet it seems that I get so weak and then, I can't even finish a fiction TT_____TT

I'm heart sick; HEAL ME.

Tags: random

Current Mood:

embarrassed

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10 November 2009 @ 07:41 pm

I NEED ANGST.

I NEED ANGST FICTIONS. LIKE, RIGHT NOWWWWWWWWW. I'M CRAVING FOR IT.

♥♥♥

but what I need is, NEAR-TO-REALITY knd of fiction; yeah. I don't dig too much fantasies xx__xx anyways, I kinda feeling fine now :) thanks for all the advices online and in person :DD it makes me feel less-burdened. I still cry.. Yeah. But, I'm trying to be okay now :) I want to be back to my old, OPTIMISTIC self. YES BELIEVE ME PEOPLE I AM MORE OPTIMISTIC THAN YOU.. *but only when I'm feeling normal.* so, I want to drown myself with sad stroies, WHY?! it gives me peace. It touched my heart more than fluff and humor fictions. That is why almost all my fics are ANGSTY. Okay, don't insert smut here T______________T

could you recommend me some fictions? :) send me a link. But really, I don't want multichaptersssssss. It's very ciff-hanging for me, and I don't want that!! :| ~~I just hope someone dedicates an angst fiction for me~~. I want my pairingsssss. AKAME *yes that major near-to-extinction pair of mine that I love the most*, DOOSEOB *i'm a sucker with that pair; shipping it so BADLY.* JONGKEY, ANY KIND OF PAIRING WITH KAME *please, just from the members of KAT-TUN, NEWS and ARASHI*, YUNJAE *nothing more to explain this one.*

sorry I'm kinda choosy X______________X *bows.* but it would really, really cheer me up if you could help me with this. I'm a lazy person, *BOWS AGAIN.* yet, please do recommend; and I can love you for a lifetime ♥

Tags: random

Current Mood:

drained

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08 November 2009 @ 07:21 pm

I'm sorry but..

I'M SORTA HAVING A
MAJOR BREAKDOWN,
BTW.

Yeah, just bear with me. Do you know the feeling when, you just want to cry for no reason? Or, maybe for a shallow reason? :| Yeah, I'm suffering with that AGAIN. There are time when I feel like this, i dunno.. I just feel.. ~~ALONE~~? Or something like that. It's not like I don't have friends.. I'm just confused with the kind of understanding that they have towards things. And, really, a true friend for me, is for knowing every single part / atom / cell within me. THAT'S WHEN I CALL YOU MY BESTEST FRIEND. I'm really a moody person, I change my moods easily. For a moment I felt like I want to show this kind of attitude, and then after that, back with the bitchiness. I'm so FCUKING RANDOM. Seriously. This cycle of me, is really hard to bear. I dunno where to change, I'm so confused. Fuck. Yeah I know, IT SUCKS BEING ME. Although for now, I can say my life is a little less contented.. STILL. I have this feelings inside of me, that wants to burst out. I dunno. But if I exploded, I might hurt the ones I love. PITY-FUL. I fucking need a psychiatrist for this.

But to tell you, MY MIND IS STILL FUNCTIONING WELL. That's one thing I'm sure. It's just that, It's very occupied by my emotions, well.. MIXED EMOTIONS, and sometimes, I just have to cry alone and lock myself up, then stuck up my earphones and turn the volumes up of my ipod. I need sounds.. music. And that is why.. I AM SUCKER FOR BALLADS / CLASSICS / OLD SONGS / BLUE / WHATEVER SHIT.

I'm a junior.. Yes, a high school. And, by being that, I have to get decided on what course I have to take in college. FUCK, IT'S HARD. Yes. Before, I usually praise myself for being good at everything. I used to think about that, I have so much talents.. And every talent is in my system. BUT NO, I WAS WRONG. When I grew up, I realized; I dunno anymore if what I'm good at. My parents confuse me for what I wanna be. My dad says I have to take LAW, which is my dream before. But it's hard, I realized. Memorizing is just NOT MY THING. Then my mom says I have to take.. whatever gets me quick in getting a job. It's kinda hard for me, too.. I dunno what course I have to take, what school I have to get into.. Coz' honestly, all I ever dream of is to be successful and have a loving husband and kids someday; and a house to live in. I'M CONTENTED AT THAT. That's my only ultimate dream. But having a job? UHH. I dunno what..

My emotions are tearing me apart. Yeah, but I DO NOT SLASH MY WRISTS FTW. I'm just.. emotionally UNstable. I need FAITH. Okay, don't laugh, idiots. I confess, I AM A DEVOTED CATHOLIC, AND I UNCONDITIONALY LOVE 'HIM'. I really, really, REALLY embrace my faith in HIM. But you know, it's not easy being a teenager. It's so damn hard. All my life I have never been this so confused. So, friends? I need your understanding. I'm just.. uhh.. my emotions are sort of.. RAGING. Yeah, like HORMONES. Well I know this is FUCKERY. But life, as you see, is full of fuckeries. So, I can't let myself be depressed that much. Because, I already had that phase of life before. I just wanna be.. I just want to have a peace of mind. I want my emotions to settle own a bit by SMILING. YEAH, NEVER-ENDING WTF SMILE. Feeling like me? WE SHARE THE SAME BOAT.

CHRISTMAS IS NEAR. AND SO IS THE KPOP CONVENTION HERE IN THE PHILIPPINES.
DECEMBER 5, 2009. 10AM-5PM; STARMALL ALABANG. BE THERE, BB. I so want to meet you.
And my current problem right now? MONEY. Another shit in my life.

Tags: random

Current Mood:

crappy

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